Migraine is one of my body’s friends
A clear indication that mind, body, and spirit
had a disconnect
It is not random for me
It is direct cause and effect
For others, it is uncontrollable
I feel for you.
I feel the anxiety of not being sure when it will come
The pain. The friend that comes around to dominate
all your time
all your energy
all your emotions
all your relationships.
It can be hard to converse with this pain
What all you want to do is know why
Why are you here?
Why now?
What are you trying to tell me?
It doesn’t talk
It speaks a highly basic language
It speaks body language
Tension here for muscles to clench
Adjust here for the wave of nausea
Poke here for an aura or yawn
It’s funny, the phases of migraine
They are predictable, simple, painful and precarious
I wonder, in the midst of courting my migraine,
what others may think
I cannot express well what a migraine is like
I cannot complete normal activities
The sun, my love, is a searing ball of pain
Exercise makes everything hurt
Thinking can be the worst – I need
ten
more
seconds
to find my words
to say your name
to consider the ripples of my migraine brain
on my body
on my relationship
on my career
on my friendships
I have people who love me and my migraines
because we learn together, we talk
about treatment,
about how the medical system ignores women
about neurologists (mine is wonderful)
and what a blessing being pain-free is.
This migraine led me to a food trigger.
The ATEs – mainly in all the sour cream I ate this weekend
Nitrates
Phosphates
MSG – a glucate
Chocolate
Dehydrate
Adding and taking away – needing to be careful
I’ve been ignoring it,
My mind
My body
My spirit
For too long.
