Welcome to Gentle Reminders, a podcast where we explore the realities of life and share some experiences from my lens. I’m your host, Trina, and today we’re going to be chatting about jumping back in, how taking the time to reflect and be real with yourself is important to maintaining your self love. In episode 3, I chatted about habits and how they are the blueprint for your life. But what happens when the blueprints need a re-do?
I want to say that we ALL have moments where we feel like we’re not doing our best. You may feel like you’re not doing enough, that you’re not achieving enough, or that you’re behind. I hear you and feel you. This week, I lamented to my partner that I felt frustrated, that I am struggling with some of my goals and he suggested that a bit of a re-do is in order.
My experience has been that this feeling of frustration is rooted in about being enough. It’s about feeling that something is lacking in your life, that the amazing things you have done or come through are simply not enough. Existing is not enough. And, maybe you’re realizing that is true for you and it’s time to jump back into life with both feet.
Let’s take a minute to realize just how difficult it can be to make this choice. If you are accompanied through life by anxiety or depression, jumping back in can be daunting. The weight of mental illness, physical illness or any other barrier can keep you from even dipping in your toe.
However, now that you’re there, good on ya. I know it’s hard to stand here, at the water’s edge, looking in, not knowing if you’re going to be successful this time. It’s going to take a bit more work to be successful if you’re charting a different course for yourself. Being reflective is difficult and so worth it. Taking the time to ask yourself questions and engage in your experience of the world is life changing. Again my lovely people, good on you for doing the work.
I’m not a doctor or a psychologist, so I’m going to rely on a few others to help you and me through. First, I’ve got Psychology Today and their recommended steps to break bad habits. Here we go:
- Decide that you really want to change and convince yourself that you can – Believing that you have the capability to change is very important. Think about it, what’s something you’ve changed in your life?
- Gain insight on what’s causing the habit – a really good way to gain insight on the behaviour is mapping the habit. MIT researchers in Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit identified three parts to a habit – the cue, the routine and the reward. Figuring out what those are for your identified habit will be the first treasure you uncover during this time of change.
- Set reasonable goals at first – You likely didn’t get into this situation overnight, so your solution likely won’t come overnight. In my case, that’s the honest truth – that it may be years before I can find my way to where I’d like to be. Be thoughtful, realistic and gentle with your first goals.
- Measure your progress and don’t be discouraged by occasional slips – Measurement can be fun and interesting. Did you ever consider measuring your relationship with a friend in smiles, especially if you’re trying to tell better stories or jokes? Perhaps you’re trying not to swear and your progress stopping yourself in a frustrating situation. We all slip up and it’s okay. It’s human nature to be imperfect.
- Seek additional support if your habits are proving harder to change – Finally, if you find that you are struggling to change, reach out. Have a moment with a close friend or find a group that has similar experiences. We all can use more cheerleaders in our lives. Find yours! You deserve to hear uplifting and supportive messages as you work to change.
Is it one day or day one for you after listening today? I know there is a lot of tropes out there about coming out of COVID-19 with something. Before I recap the 5 steps, I want to gently remind you that we are all in survival mode right now and this episode is for the folks who are ready for change. You may not be that person today, and if you are tomorrow, this episode is here for you.
Now let’s review:
- Decide that you really want to change and convince yourself that you can.
- Gain insight on what’s causing the habit.
- Set reasonable goals at first
- Measure your progress and don’t be discouraged by occasional slips
- Seek additional support if your habits are proving harder to change
Thank you all for being here with me today and I invite you to keep the conversation going. I love to hear from you!
Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.ca/g9051/gentle-reminders/
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/gentlereminderspodcast/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/RealGRPodcast
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/Gentle-Reminders-Podcast-108426100578901/
Email – gentlereminderspodcast@gmail.com
